April 23, 2012
By Saleem Rana
Interview by Allen Cardoza and Dr. Melody Foxx
Psychotherapist Bill E. Goldberg, author of “The ‘And’ Principle.” shared the essence of his child-raising philosophy with L.A. Talk Show hosts Allen Cardoza and Dr. Melody Foxx from Answers for the Family.
Goldberg, who has been refining his philosophy for over twenty years as a counselor, writer, and teacher, explained how children will give up authenticity for survival. He spoke about how important it was for parents to first acknowledge all of their own feelings, multiple selves, and the dimensions of their being before they could become good parents.
Parents who have discovered their own authenticity are then able to reinforce the self-esteem of their child through active listening, mirroring their child’s accomplishments and letting them have “the microphone.”
Goldberg pointed out that America is awash in an epidemic of narcissism and has become a country where people will not let others talk for more than five minutes before interjecting their own opinions and personal stories. He stresses that this narcissistic tendency has to be avoided in child-raising.
Instead of dictating ideas to children, parents should foster their children’s uniqueness, allowing their children to discover the “gift of themselves.” Goldberg describes emotional integrity as the antidote to allowing children to grow up with their compass intact. Children who have experienced emotional integrity are in a position to accept all of their own emotions, positively affecting not only their childhood, but also their adult years.
Parents must realize the enormous power they have to influence the entire canvas of their children’s lives. For instance, regular outbursts of anger and impatience has the potential to drive a child to grow up to be an adult with addictions.
A parent’s own spirituality can be the foundation that allows their child to flourish in life. Authentic children will grow up to be adults who are fully capable of knowing how to unconditionally love themselves without constantly needing the validation and approval of others to make them feel complete.
Positive parenting allows children to play at the game of life so that they have a higher probability of becoming winners. Reinforcement for making right choices has the potential to help chldren grow up to be natural teachers, good communicators, powerful leaders, and successful people. Of course, this process of nurturing authenticity in children should not simply drift into excessive permissiveness. Children also need guidance, boundaries, and discipline.
Using poems, sharing stories, and reflecting on his philosophical insights through the course of the hour long interview, Goldberg brought home the point that the greatest investment a parent can make is to enable and sanctify their relationship with their children.
Bill E. Goldberg is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has authored two books. The first was “Protecting the Diamond,” while the second was “The ‘And’ Principle.” His books are available on his <a href=”http://www.catchthecurrentpublishing.com/”>personal website</a>. As a psychotherapist, Goldberg’s central focus of his work is to facilitate movement in the lives of his clients using various modalities including the creative arts, Voice Dialogue, and emotional release techniques.
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If you would like to listen to the <a href=”http://answersforthefamily.com/how-to-raise-your-children-so-that-they-will-grow-up-and-like-you-bill-e-goldbberg”>Bill E. Goldberg</a> be sure to visit Allen Cardoza’s website at www.answersforthefamily.com.
